The Waiting
I am always OK. It takes a lot to rattle my cage. In case of an emergency, I am your person. I very rarely tip the scales on either end of the spectrum. I do not like to admit this as I am a little embarrassed by it. Seems a little vanilla if you ask me, someone who is always "fine".
But lately I have started to experience some anxiety. I get into bed where I normally fall asleep easily, and suddenly I am tossing and turning and can feel it slowly escalate. I feel it in my heart, it flutters like butterfly wings in my chest and then radiates up to my throat where it feels tight and my breath begins to quicken. I lie there as quiet as possible and can feel it slowly sneak in on me. I try to adjust the blankets and the dogs to make a nest around me in in the hopes that their warmth and comfort will cocoon me in, and it will turn the tide. I have other tools available to me too.... monitor my breath, get out of bed and take child's pose or legs up the wall, or I could use my mantra and close my eyes and try to meditate it away. Sometimes that works, but often even though I KNOW I have the ability to apply those tools, somehow, I feel frozen and just suffer and wait.
Feels like all I have done this year is wait. Waiting to hug my Mom. Waiting for the elections, the Inauguration. Waiting for a vaccine. Waiting for things to re-open. Waiting to travel. Now waiting my turn for the vaccine. Can I continue to wait without increasing my anxiety?
Is waiting really the hardest part Tom Petty? While much of the waiting has been challenging beyond measure, are we better off to have been changed so deeply in this way?
I am not “waiting" any longer. I am actively trying too just BE. As a teacher and practitioner of the practice of yoga, I am constantly reminding myself and others to be in the moment. My favorite pair of yoga pants ever were made by a company called Be Present, great name, unfortunately out of business.
Instead of just waiting.... enjoy the soft quiet moments at home this winter. There will never be another one like it.
Or savor in making some plans, things you have been waiting to do.
I bought tickets to a show at Red Rocks for July and nearly jumped out of my skin at the excitement as I hit purchase.
If you have been waiting to go on a retreat, I have two opportunities to SHARE. Soak up the Baja sun in Mexico this May or make pasta and drink wine in the Umbrian hills outside of Rome this September. Both places offer opportunities for us to restore in nature and improve our wellness, safety first of course and open to ALL levels of yoga practitioner.
Lastly, I am co-teaching yogaview's Spring 200hr Yoga Teacher Training. You do not have to have the goal to want to teach yoga. It is an opportunity to learn more about the history and philosophy of the practice. Make an investment learning about yourself through yoga and meditation. It is all online, which means you can join in from anywhere. CLICK HERE to learn more. For many, it is something they have been waiting to do.
We are almost there.... the future is bright. Our patience will be rewarded.
xoxo
JK